If you believe that your relationship could benefit from marriage counseling, you'll likely be planning to raise the possibility of seeing a therapist with your spouse. The reaction that you get will ideally be that he or she is keen on this move and ready to get professional help. However, there's also a possibility that your spouse may be lukewarm to the idea or perhaps completely resistant. Should your spouse outright refuse to attend marriage counseling with you, there are several ways that you can proceed. Here are three options.
Attend By Yourself
Although marriage counselors commonly treat couples, they also offer counseling to clients on an individual basis. Making an appointment to see a marriage counselor by yourself gives you an opportunity to identify what issues you might be creating in the relationship, as well as learn strategies on how you can improve yourself for the betterment of your marriage. For example, you may not be happy to admit it, but perhaps you honestly know that you're controlling — and that this is affecting your marriage. Counseling sessions in which you work on improving this issue can be beneficial.
Ask Him/Her To Seek Solo Counseling
Even if your spouse is resistant to getting counseling together, he or she won't necessarily say no to seeing a therapist. Just as you're seeing a counselor by yourself, suggest that your spouse may wish to do the same. Instead of demanding that he or she do so, express this sentiment as a gentle request and state how much it would mean to you. Sometimes, people feel that they'd struggle in a couples' environment, but feel that they could open up more one on one. Even if you don't get counseling together, individual relationship counseling can help your marriage.
Consider A Breakup
It can be very frustrating to want to get help to improve your marriage and have the other person dragging his or her heels. If your marriage is suffering and your spouse is unwilling to get professional help with the intention of improving the union, you may wish to think about separating or even divorcing. You could tell your partner that you're willing to work on the health of the relationship, and that you want to be with someone who takes the same approach. Sometimes, even the discussion of this topic can show your spouse that you're serious about how important counseling is, which may compel him or her to attend.
Contact a service, like Can't We Just Get Along Counselling Inc., for more help.Share